12 Ways to Be an Effective Mentor
by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.
This list was originally developed to help parents mentor their children.
The tips listed below are equally relevant to mentor relationships with
students, employees and other adults.
Accept your children unconditionally, just the way they are. Begin with
them wherever they are in their development. Remind yourself that they’re
“right on schedule!”
Appreciate their uniqueness. Give them space to go in different directions
than you had imagined or desired for them.
Validate their reality or experience, even if it’s different from
yours.
Enlarge their concept of the world and their understanding of how it
works.
Believe in them. Encourage them with love and faith (instead of threats,
demands or derision) to help them achieve, confront their fears and
go beyond their perceived capabilities.
Support their need for emotional safety, some of which will come from
the love and acceptance you offer, and some of which from the structure
and limits you provide.
Challenge their beliefs to expand their perception of possibilities
for themselves.
Help them through a hard time by being there, by listening and by having
faith in their ability to persevere and overcome adversity.
Provide an outlet for their feelings without judging, advising or compromising
their sense of safety.
Help them discover hidden facets of themselves. Widen the frame of their
self-perception by seeing them beyond who they are now.
Inspire an appreciation for new things. Light a fire with your own passion
and appreciation for something that you enjoy or value.
Demonstrate the kinds of behaviors and values you would like them to
learn. Model virtues such as self-discipline, fairness, honesty, integrity
and responsibility in your interactions with them and others.
Excerpt from The Parent’s Little Book
of Lists: Do’s and Don’ts of Effective Parenting, by
Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., © 1997, Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield
Beach, FL.
Buy The Parent’s Little Book of Lists
Buy Mentors, Masters and Mrs.
MacGregor: Stories of Teachers Making a Difference
“Secrets of
Successful Mentorship,” article by Jane Bluestein
Jane’s other articles
Handouts from Jane’s presentations
