12 Ways to Be an Effective Mentor

Accept your children unconditionally, just the way they are. Begin with them wherever they are in their development. Remind yourself that they’re “right on schedule!”

Appreciate their uniqueness. Give them space to go in different directions than you had imagined or desired for them.

Validate their reality or experience, even if it’s different from yours. (See page 172 for more information).

Enlarge their concept of the world and their understanding of how it works.

Believe in them. Encourage them with love and faith (instead of threats, demands or derision) to help them achieve, confront their fears and go beyond their perceived capabilities.

Support their need for emotional safety, some of which will come from the love and acceptance you offer, and some of which from the structure and limits you provide.

Challenge their beliefs to expand their perception of possibilities for themselves.

Help them through a hard time by being there, by listening and by having faith in their ability to persevere and overcome adversity.

Provide an outlet for their feelings without judging, advising or compromising their sense of safety.

Help them discover hidden facets of themselves. Widen the frame of their self-perception by seeing them beyond who they are now.

Inspire an appreciation for new things. Light a fire with your own passion and appreciation for something that you enjoy or value.

Demonstrate the kinds of behaviors and values you would like them to learn. Model virtues such as self-discipline, fairness, honesty, integrity and responsibility in your interactions with them and others.