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Alternativas Que Apoyan a los Sentimentos

por Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

Tenga muy claro su papel. Are we there to protect children or to teach children to protect and defend themselves; to give solutions or to help them find their own?

Escuche. Maintain eye contact, with minimal or no talking.

Distinga entre los sentimientos y el comportamiento. Remember that there’s a difference between wanting to hurt someone and actually hurting someone.

Acepte el derecho que tiene la otra persona de tener esos sentimentos. This means the absence of judgmental, shocked or disappointed words, looks, body language; not making someone wrong for his or her feelings.

Valide la experience de la otra persona. Validation is anything you say or do that recognizes and respects the reality of the child's experience, and gives the child permission to have his or her feelings.

Mantenga sus límites. Let kids know when you’ll be available. Watch the tendency to take responsibility for the child’s feelings or problems by trying to fix the situation, cheer them up (fix them), or by rescuing or advising.

Provide healthy, non-hurtful outlets for feelings (and meeting needs)

Ask–don’t tell. This is for problem-solving more than dealing with feelings (affective states). Helps children find solutions to their own problems, think about options available, anticipate probable outcomes. Puts you in the role of facilitator or guide. A great alternative to advice-giving! For more information, click here.

Model and teach conflict-management. Demonstrate non-destructive ways to have, express, and process feelings; express needs; set and maintain boundaries.

¿Cómo se sintió al haber sido escuchado?

¿Cómo se hubiera sentido si no se hubiera sentido escuchado?

Excerpted and adapted from The Win-Win Classroom, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., (Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Publishing, © 2008), and Parents, Teens & Boundaries, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc., 1995). Translated by Graciela Cueva and Monet Millard Templeton, Encinitas Union School District, Encinitas, CA. Additional translation by E. Ann Worthington, Executive Director, New Hope Charitable Foundation.

Note: This is a draft version of this page. The final version may include additional translations of links that are currently in English and corrections of errors in the translation or typing that are found by proofreader.

Esta página es disponible en ingles, también.

Para comprar Parents, Teens & Boundaries, teclee aquí.

Para comprar The Win-Win Classroom, teclee aquí.

3 Metas Para Mantener En Mente

Beliefs that Help Create a Safe Emotional Environment

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Other handouts by Dr. Jane Bluestein

Complete alphabetical listing of all handouts on this site.

Articles and excerpts by Dr. Jane Bluestein

Complete alphabetical listing of all articles on this site.

Complete listing of all articles and handouts in Spanish or French.

Books, Articles, Audio and Video Resources and other Resources by Dr. Jane Bluestein

Humor and Fun: Brighten your day with fun facts, short pieces about kids, pets and work, and hilarious things kids say, do and write. Includes items you can share with kids or use as a springboard for discussions and activities.

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