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11 Reasons to Use Boundaries

by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

Red Square Boundaries allow you to express your limits and to communicate the conditions or availability of certain privileges that your students desire.

Red Square Boundaries prevent conflict and build win-win power structures. They help you take care of yourself while attempting to accommodate your students’ needs or desires.

Red Square Boundaries build a reward-oriented classroom (or school) environment. They emphasize positive consequences –desirable outcomes available with cooperation.

Red Square Boundaries create less stress and fewer power struggles than rules and demands (which are typically win-lose and often focus on punishments or negative outcomes for noncompliance).

Red Square Boundaries build mutual consideration and respect.

Red Square Boundaries do not rely on the child’s fear of the teacher’s emotional reaction (such as anger or disapproval) to help the teacher get what he or she wants.

Red Square Boundaries allow positive and negative consequences to occur in a nonpunitive environment (negative consequences simply being the absence of positive consequences). As long as teachers only allow positive consequences to occur when students have done their part, boundaries hold students accountable for their own behavior.

Red Square Boundaries with good teacher follow through can minimize students’ acting-out behaviors such as whining, begging, temper tantrums, rebelliousness, refusal to comply, talking back or relying on excuses to get they want.

Red Square Boundaries leave the door open for students to change their behavior in order to get their needs met. While rules or threats emphasize the penalties for misbehavior, boundaries focus on the ability to make more constructive choices.

Red Square Boundaries do not threaten emotional safety in relationships

Red Square Boundary-setting is especially effective in an atmosphere of love, acceptance and respect, although the process can help create these qualities in an otherwise stressful relationship.

Excerpted from The Parent’s Little Book of Lists: Do’s & Don’ts of Effective Parenting, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. © 1997, Health Communications, Inc, Deerfield Beach, FL.

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