The School as a
Dysfunctional Family

by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

Similarities between schools and dysfunctional families: beliefs or rules that can compromise the emotional climate of any system. Included for each category are alternatives which, when chosen, can have a positive impact on this climate, as well as on the relationships and performance of individuals functioning in this environment.

Impression Management

Includes: People pleasing, the need to look good, being “fine;” fear of being judged; denial, damage control; ignoring, excusing, dismissing, enabling; blame, needing to fix (or be fixed); dependence, codependence; loyalty/disloyalty, dishonesty; disregard for others, inconsideration; protecting the “system,” lack of communications, poor communications, triangulation.

Healthy alternative: Authenticity

Includes: Honesty; being oneself (safety to be self); tolerance of disapproval from others; accountability; conscientiousness, awareness; admitting, confronting, courage, awareness, clarity; responsibility, support of others (within boundaries); Interdependence; integrity, trust, honesty; concern, respect for others; advocating for the individual; healthy communications

Oversimplification

Includes: Black and white thinking; dualism (win-lose); need for simplicity; Misunderstanding, misrepresenting; reducing a concept to its most simplistic (if incorrect) dimension; focusing on the irrelevant (missing the point); impatience, despair, quick fix; surface changes, tunnel vision, attention to extremes (trouble makers, gifted kids, popular kids); one set of values (assumptions)

Healthy alternative: Complexity and Paradox

Includes: Willingness to live with conflict and paradox; ability to view and grasp multiple dimensions of a concept; focusing on the relevant (getting the point); persistence, patience; long-term, deep changes; context; attention to everyone; diversity of values (appreciation, acceptance)

Reactivity

Includes: Crisis orientation, “getting tough;” fear, pressure (“War on...”); hierarchies, power-down, control; commanding, ordering; punitive orientation; inspires avoidance of punishment, penalty or other negative outcomes; controlling; reliance on rules and punishment; complaining; blaming, “fixing;” threats; incongruence, mismatched goals and behaviors

Healthy alternative: Proactivity

Includes: Prevention orientation, “getting connected;” love, encouragement; networks, relationships, shared power; “selling,” securing buy-in; encouragement, reward orientation; inspires seeking satisfaction, other positive outcome; asking, asserting what you want; relies on commitment; creating opportunities, making things better; promises; congruence, behaviors and policies support goals.

Scarcity Thinking

Includes: Negativity; pessimism; despair; competitiveness; resistance to change; attachment to tradition for tradition’s sake (whether it makes sense or is good or not); judgments, discrimination; uniformity; suppressing; victim thinking; lack of resources, withholding resources; conditionality; double standards.

Healthy alternative: Abundance/Prosperity Thinking

Includes: Positivity; optimism; cooperation, synergy; openness to possibilities; acceptance, tolerance; tolerance of diversity, variety; expressing, tolerance for intensity; empowerment; creative uses of resources, availability of resources; unconditionality; absence of double standards.

Product Orientation

Includes: Learning to know, facts, procedures; Fragmentation (linear); telling (arrogance, “I know what’s best”); expectations; linear; hypocrisy (incongruence between goals and behaviors); teaching according to curriculum; past/future orientation; fixing, knowing what’s best; blocked awareness (to control); eliminating problems (problem students)

Healthy alternative: Process Orientation

Includes: Learning to learn, thinking; cohesiveness (multidimensional, holographic); asking (trusting, may not know what’s best); goals; complex, multidimensional; congruence (modeling, consistency); teaching according to student needs; present orientation (in context of goals, eye to future); guiding, trusting; communications (to build commitment); correcting, solving problems.

Survey: Is Your School (or Classroom) an Emotionally Safe Place?

Industrial Age Classrooms vs. Information Age Classrooms

Examples of Some New Ways of Thinking

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