Guidelines for Reinforcing Positive Behavior
by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.
Use positive reinforcement, whether verbal or non-verbal (interactive,
token or activity), to acknowledge and strengthen already-existing behaviors.
Avoid attempting to use reinforcement before the desired behavior has
occurred to try to get the desired behavior to occur.
(Encouraging the child to initiate a desired behavior and intervening
a negative behavior require different strategies. For more information
on different intervention strategies, click here.)
Watch for a tendency to use praise to help a child solve a problem or
feel good about himself. Flattery can appear manipulative even to a
young or needy child. Such messages are superficial at best and will
not contribute to the child’s genuine sense of self-worth. (For
more information about genuine self-worth and the myth of the self-esteem
“myth,” click here.)
Avoid using your approval as a means of reinforcing desired behavior.
Learn to distinguish between reinforcers intended to maintain a particular
behavior and genuine expressions of appreciation, affection or enjoyment
of your children. In a win-win relationship, behaviors such as a smile,
touch, nod or wink— which obviously communicate the fact that
you arepleased— are not used as expressions of conditional approval
or caring. Although they may sometimes be used as reinforcers, such
behaviors may also appear randomly, regardless of the child’s
performance or behavior, as expressions of appreciation or affection.
Phrase reinforcements as an affirmation or acknowledgement of a behavior
the child has demonstrated and the positive consequences now available
(not as “if . . . then” statements, which are more
useful for motivating behavior that has not yet been demonstrated).
Reinforcements may be effectively communicated in either oral or written
form.
To reinforce a desirable behavior, first describe the behavior that
took place. Be specific and concrete and avoid making judgments
about the behavior or the worth of the child.
Secondly, whenever possible, attach a comment that connects the
immediate benefits of the child’s behavior to the child. (Occasionally,
it may be appropriate to state the positive outcomes in terms of their
benefits to the family.) Focus on the payoff for the child, making sure
the outcome is positive and meaningful. Avoid projecting your own feelings
and values, which may or may not be relevant to those of the child,
or suggesting how the student child feel.
Look for the positive. You can almost always find something to recognize
in any performance. Reinforce what was done right and work to correct
or improve the rest.
Perhaps because of the rigidity of roles in times past, there was a
tendency for parents to recognize certain behaviors in boys (such as
strength, mechanical skill, and ability in math and the sciences) more
frequently than girls (who are more often reinforced for neatness, creativity,
attractiveness, and writing and artistic abilities). In recognizing
your children, be aware of any tendencies to promote stereotypes.
Excerpted and adapted from The Win-Win Classroom by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.,
© 2008, Corwin Publishing, Thousand Oaks, CA.
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See related handouts:
Descriptions of each Characteristic
5 Characteristics of a Good Boundary in English, Spanish and French.
11 Reasons to Use Boundaries with
Your Children in English, Spanish and French.
9 Things to Remember When Setting
a Boundary in English, Spanish and French.
6 Reasons to Not Ask your Children
for Excuses
Motivating cooperative behavior
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