 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Student Behavior Profiles
by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.
Options available with All-or-Nothing Thinking
Behavior: Rebellious, Defiant, Disobedient
Descriptor: Self-Centered
Focus: My needs
Goal: Having my own way no matter what; power; being left alone
Responsibility: Someone else’s fault; sees little connection between behavior and outcomes
Power Play: Uses power to disempower; win-lose
Power Tools: Anger, violence; passive-aggressiveness; secrecy; isolation
Feelings: Difficulty expressing feelings in constructive, non-violating ways
Costs: Relationships
Stays safe by: Not needing you, not caring
Boundaries: Few, as far as others are concerned
OR
Behavior: Compliant, Obedient
Descriptor: Self-Abandoning
Focus: Your needs (or my need to look like I’m more concerned with your needs)
Goal: Avoiding conflict and abandonment; Approval seeking
Responsibility: “Just following orders;” disempowered; sees self as victim, having few choices
Power Play: Gives power away; lose-win
Power Tools: Being “nice;” being perfect; doing what everyone expects; achievement, recognition; tears, guilt; passive-aggressiveness
Feelings: Feelings are often “stuffed” and/or denied; vulnerable to tolerance breaks, can be explosive.
Costs: Sense of self; self-worth
Stays safe by: Keeping you happy (so you won’t criticize, express disapproval, be disappointment or leave)
Boundaries: Few, as far as self is concerned
A Positive, Win-Win Alternative
Behavior: Cooperative, Considerate
Descriptor: Self-Caring
Focus: My needs and your needs
Goal: Getting what I want with a minimum of conflict and inconvenience for others
Responsibility: Responsible for own behavior; sees self as having choices and power
Power Play: Shares power; win-win (respectful of others’ need for power and autonomy)
Power Tools: Negotiating, compromise; ability to identify personal needs; self-expression; ability to make you a deal you can’t refuse.
Feelings: Not necessary to use feelings to manipulate, hurt or control; can express feelings in non-hurtful ways
Costs: May create conflict with authoritarian or manipulative people. Can threaten, upset or alienate people with weak or no boundaries.
Stays safe by: Identifying and expressing needs; Taking care of self. (Probably feels pretty safe to begin with.)
Boundaries: Has personal boundaries; respects others’ boundaries
Excerpted and adapted from The Win-Win Classroom, revised edition, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. © 2008, Corwin Publishing, Thousand Oaks, CA.
This handout is also available in French.
See other handouts and excerpts from The Win-Win Classroom:
Guidelines for Reinforcing Positive Behavior
Dealing Successfully with your Students’ Parents
Industrial Age vs. Information Age Classrooms
Improve the School’s Social Culture
Other handouts by Dr. Jane Bluestein
Complete alphabetical listing of all handouts on this site.
Articles and excerpts by Dr. Jane Bluestein
Complete alphabetical listing of all articles on this site.
Complete listing of all articles and handouts in Spanish or French.
Books, Articles, Audio and Video Resources and other Resources by Dr. Jane Bluestein
Humor and Fun: Brighten your day with fun facts, short pieces about kids, pets and work, and hilarious things kids say, do and write. Includes items you can share with kids or use as a springboard for discussions and activities.
Hire Jane: Everything you need for your next conference or professional development event
Jane’s Calendar
Click here (or on the image to the left) to see Jane’s schedule. Click here for a map with links to dates that she will be in your area.
Help support this site
The content on this site is free. You are welcome to download, copy, distribute, or use the material (with proper attribution) in any way you feel will be helpful. Your support will help us continue to maintain the site, add new content, hire translators and tech support consultants, and keep the site ad-free. Any support is much appreciated.
Direct links to free stuff on this site:
articles and excerpts • handouts • materials in Spanish and French • videos and podcasts • links to other sites and resources • ideas, tips, and experiences of other educators • humor and fun
