Kids at Risk, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

Adapted from, among other things, How to Drug-Proof Kids (by Jodi Freeman, The Think Shop, Inc., Albuquerque, NM, 1989); "Risk Check for your Child," (handout from Garfield Middle School, Albuquerque, NM).

Children at Risk

Children at risk for destructive, compulsive, and/or addictive behavior patterns may exhibit any of the following characteristics.* (Most are also applicable to adults.)

Low self esteem
Do not feel valued and secure in the family
Do not feel valued and secure in school
Do not feel listened to; believe that their opinions are unimportant
Lack a normal tolerance for frustration
Have unrealistic expectations of selves, others, situations
Difficulty seeing connection between their choices and the outcomes of their choices
Difficulty predicting outcomes of possible choices; difficulty thinking things through
Difficulty seeing alternatives or "ways out" of problem situations
High degree of despair; belief that they cannot positively and realistically affect or change their lives
Negative, pessimistic
Difficulty expressing feelings constructively; tendency to "stuff" feelings and/or blow up
Compete for power with most adults (and, often, peers)
Difficulty taking "no" for an answer
Difficulty balancing consideration for others with consideration for selves
Have few interests; may watch a lot of TV (use as a drug)
Rarely invite other kids to their homes
Lack a strong belief system
Difficulty solving problems or making decisions
Tendency to blame, avoid responsibility OR tendency to act and feel overly responsible for other people
Difficulty asking for help
Difficulty thinking independently; easily talked into things
Tendency toward people pleasing, compliance, approval-seeking,dependency OR rebelliousness, bullying, abusiveness, hostile behavior
Reluctance to try new things, fear of failure OR recklessness
Perfectionistic, self-critical OR seemingly indifferent
Difficulty finishing projects or assignments OR compulsive involvement and overachievement
Rarely share feelings and thoughts with at least one family member
Poor school performance; dislike of school; poor attendance OR superachiever
Delinquent behavior; school misbehavior
Friends who use drugs or alcohol
Favorable attitudes toward drug use
Early first use of drugs or alcohol

Family patterns and adult behaviors of at-risk children may include:

Family history of substance abuse and addiction
Family history of codependency, compulsive behavior
Family pattern of verbal, physical, sexual, and/or ritual abuse
Family pattern of inconsistency or neglect; lack of accountability to family for behaviors or whereabouts OR overinvolvement and control; lack of privacy, boundaries with other family members
Family patterns of reactivity, rigidity, perfectionism, dishonesty, double standards, shaming, blaming, mistrust, all-or-nothing thinking, disempowering, martyrdom, intolerance, future/past orientation, boundary violations, self-righteousness, denial, and/or enabling.
Family drug use; use of illegal drugs around children; heavy recreational drinking in the home; adults involve children in their drug use (for example, asking the child to get a beer or light a cigarette for the adult)
Family patterns of dismissing feelings, distracting or “rescuing” from feelings, or using feelings as a basis for shaming, blaming, or making the child wrong.
Infrequent or inconsistent expressions of love and acceptance; conditional love based on specifics such as appearance, achievement, social competence, performance, or how well the child takes care of the adult’s needs, (rather than on unconditional worth of the child)
Infrequent expressions of recognition, validation, acknowledgement; praise expressed to manipulate and control.

*Everyone experiences some of these "risk factors" from time to time. The presence of many risk factors does not condemn students to be drug abusers, nor does the apparent lack of these characteristics mean they will avoid problems. However, students who frequently characterize many of the factors described above–without intervention and support for changing patterns–are typically at greater risk than students who do not.